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August 11, 2004
No Iguana
Ok. Here's all I have to say today. Whatever you do, do not eat at Iguana on 54th and Broadway. I repeat. Do not eat at Iguana on 54th and Broadway.
Last night after our mannmade meeting, Travis, Dwayne and I decided to get me some dinner and get us all some drinks. We headed down to the west side Divine Bar at 54th and Broadway, and after no one came to seat us and the music was so loud we could barely think, we decided to walk to ninth. Unfortunately, we didn't make it past Iguana, directly west of Divine Bar. Margaritas, we thought. Yum, we thought.
Oh, how wrong we were.
We enter the dining room, which has furniture that looks to have been looted by pirates, which is interesting, mostly b/c I thought it was a mexican restaurant. There are taper candles on each table, which is nice. The plates are a plastic silver. And there's a painting on the wall that looks like - I don't even know. A small child that's eaten enough chocolate to appear about to burst at the seams? Wearing a hair net?
We order our drinks, after the waiter coming over and running away at least 3 times, and then 10 minutes later, a new waiter appears to take our food orders. I ordered grilled ahi tuna, which they normally ask how you want prepared. Didn't happen. I sort of registered it, but then didn't. We order nachos to share, with chicken, and Dwayne orders a chicken quesadilla.
The nachos had that melted velveeta type of cheese on them. and the chicken, after a few bites, really tasted like tuna. And it looked like tuna. And it was the consistency of tuna. At this point I was starting to get concerned about my tuna. In the end, I didn't have to be, b/c it was cooked through - at least 4 times. The concisteny sort of resembled, well, chicken. But the icing on the cake was Dwayne's chicken quesadilla.
The chicken inside was a breaded chicken cutlet. Like perhaps you might find in chicken parm.
These are not lies.
We escaped with our lives, but our stomachs won't be the same for at least another 24 hours.
Posted by nikl at August 11, 2004 05:07 PM
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