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September 26, 2004

King of The Universe

My grandfather, btw, is the King of the Universe. For those of you who don't know, he has bladder cancer. They determined this summer that he should have it removed. He was scheduled for surgery on Sept 2. On August 30 he had some pre-op tests and they noticed some weirdness with his heart. On the 31st, they did a dye test and discovered 85% to 95% blockage in 3 arteries. "um, Mr. Johnson, you need a triple bypass tomorrow." Mind you, this was before Clinton had is - country before country was cool, indeed.

Here are some of my grandfather's choice quotes about the entire experience.

On Nurses, the 2nd day out of the ICU: "You know they get excited when they see an old man. She asked me what I was doing tonight, but I had to give her a rain check."

On needing to rest: "I got no problem whatsoever sittin' on my ass."

On recovery: "I'm doin' ok, but if someone come up and punch me in the chest, I'd die."

Variation on recovery: "I feel good. But if someone came up and hit me in the chest, I'd shit all over myself."

On Cigarettes: "We got a deal. I told them, I don't bother you, you leave me the &*$% alone. I'm through messin' with that shit. You tell this old man somethin's gonna kill him, and I'm through with it!" (Note: Kira has been telling him that smoking is going to kill him since she could talk. He's been smoking since age 10.)

On how good he looked in a picture from the 70's: "I was the man's threat, and the women's pet."

King of the Universe I tell you, King.

Posted by nikl at September 26, 2004 09:25 PM

Comments

This:

"I was the man's threat, and the women's pet."

Is the best thing I've heard in 2004. Gotta be a signature.

Posted by: Beth at September 26, 2004 10:15 PM

gotta love papa =). he's hilarious. way to look on the bright side...

Posted by: yamani at October 17, 2004 01:41 AM

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