« More Reasons to Be Glad I Moved | Main | HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!?!?! »

December 07, 2004

Return of the Killer Raccoon

It was horrible.

The wildlife guy came and set out a large and a small trap for the raccoon on the back porch after Monday night's incident.

When I got home tonight, I started the baking madness that is this week. My dad and I were both in the kitchen, I at the stove, and he at the computer. After an hour or so, we started to hear this banging noise on the porch. We dismissed it, then we heard it again. We went into the family room to look out the glass doors to see what the ruckus was about (again, with the ruckus). We turn on the porch light, to see... A GIANT RACCOON, doing its damndest to get at a small squirrel, TRAPPED INSIDE THE SMALL CAGE. The cage is wired to the gutter, but the raccoon wants to take it off into the night.

We bang on the glass to scare the raccoon away, but he's unphased. My dad insists that what will scare it away is to OPEN THE DOOR. WHAT? We argue about this, and he convinces me he's not going to open it, just act like he's opening it. Ok. He turns the lever, and to his credit, it moves away from the squirrel in the cage - at which point I see a PIECE OF THE SQUIRREL'S TAIL on the ground.

There is much discussion about what to do, did the raccoon really leave the porch (no, it was just hiding behind the chimney, waiting to come back), can we let the squirrel out, will it try to kill us if we do, and on and on.

Out of compassion for the poor trapped squirrel, I convince my dad to call the wildlife people to see how to let him out. The wildlife guy reminds us that maybe it's the squirrel getting in at night (um, NO, the thing getting in is capable of RIPPING 2x4's into pieces), and to just put out some marshmallows in the big cage so when it comes back, it will be lured.

So, after much fear that the raccoon hadn't really left the porch (and my dad standing at the far door, with just his hand out the door, tossing marshmallows towards the cage), I ran out and placed some marshmallows actually inside the trap. I really wanted to move the squirrel to safety, but we decided to just let it be.

When my mom came home and saw the piece of the squirrel's tail on the ground, she couldn't leave it out there for the Raccoon to come back and finish the job. So we got some wire cutters, disconnected the trap from the gutter, and used a broom handle to move the squirrel inside the screened in porch. After it was done, we were worried that the raccoon would rip away the screen to get to the squirrel, which was now no longer attached to the gutter, and carry it off into the night. So a couple hours later, we moved the cage to the far back corner of the screened in porch, in the shadows. And we prayed.

The next morning, the screened porch was intact, and I moved the squirrel back to the front of the porch where it could be seen by the wildlife people when they came to "relocate" it. Oh, and the raccoon had managed to get ALL of the marshmallows without tripping the trap. Evil.

Damn raccoons.

Posted by nikl at December 7, 2004 04:16 PM

Comments

Post a comment