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March 31, 2005

Baby Mama Indeed

Some of you have probably heard the Fantasia song, Baby Mama .

Now, let me preface by saying that women who find themselves on their own with a child and make it works, PROPS. However, it seems that it's become way too glorified in pop culture to have a baby with someone you are so detached from as to only be connected by the child (that's not my husband, not even my boyfriend, that's the father of my child - Baby Daddy. That's not my wife or girlfriend, that's the mother of my child - Baby Mamma). To live off of welfare checks (which not all single mothers do, but seems to continuously be tied in when "baby mamas" are mentioned in pop culture).

Over the past few weeks I've gotten into numerous discussions about the fact that while the song is catchy (catchy does not, btw = good), the message that it sends and its huge popularity can be a little scary. My sister played us a song last week called Step Dad (I think) which is basically a children's chorus and a rapper going back and forth. The children's chorus says they are hungry and/or need something, and the rapper answers back with "shut up." The basis of the song is that he's just gettin' with the mama and could care less about her kids. GREAT IDEA. Marvin Gaye, where are you?

ANYWAY, Rick Smiley did a parody of Baby Mama, and I must say, thank God. [Edit 4/13/05: Apparently it's actually not Rick Smiley, as someone commented, though on a different post]

Posted by nikl at March 31, 2005 10:30 AM

Comments

i don't really get what's scary about the "message" the song "sends". i do think the detachment from having children with people unwilling to stick around is problematic to say the least...but i don't think the song is about that. however, i think the song is about empowerment. she talks about working, going to school and upliftment...rising above this stigma of being a single parent (and of course the frustration with the child support structure). its about time that a " baby's mama' can amplify her own voice instead of everybody speaking for and stereotyping "baby mama's" like that parody did. as you stated, ALL..i would venture to say most single mothers aren't looking for a "welfare check" to get their nails done. nor are they all dumping their children on their parents. maybe some are, but some there are an equal number of so called more "societally acceptable" family structures e.g. heterosexual and married that neglect, and abuse children. baby mama by definition does not = welfare, bad parent or detached.

Posted by: yamani at March 31, 2005 03:47 PM

not that i like the song...indeed, catchy does not = good.

Posted by: yamani at March 31, 2005 03:55 PM

I agree that the song is about empowerment, but the same way I have trouble verbalizing exactly what I think is off about the song, I feel uncomfortable about the fact that it is indeed (about empowerment). I mean, I wonder if it's empowering the right people. I guess? I know what she was/is trying to do with the song, and I totally support that effort, I guess my fear is in the way it gets absorbed. And maybe that's in the "reclaiming" of the term "Baby Mama", which I don't believe was born of positive attributes.

Posted by: nikl at April 5, 2005 02:19 PM

I agree with all of you, I just cant get the parody out of my head. I think its so funny, but at the same time sad that some people actually do that!

Posted by: Alex at April 8, 2005 05:56 PM

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