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November 24, 2005

Thank You Toni Braxton

Toni Braxton has lost her mind.

Or, as I'm hearing, has always been crazy.

Did anyone else see her sing the national anthem at the Falcons/Lions game? WHAT IS SHE ON?

A, she was wearing a short sleeved sweater over a white blouse, demostrating why this persistent fad only works on people under a size 4. It just looks wrong.

B, I don't know what language she was singing in, but it was barely English. No words were fully pronounced, my favorite example being "th bom bu 'sin in air"

C, Dynamics honey, are not a toy.

D, It's the National Anthem, it's Thanksgiving, we're at war, and you are singing in the lowest key known to man - NO NEED TO WIPE YOUR BROW, SAY "WHEW," AND WINK IN TO THE CAMERA WHEN YOU HIT THE "HIGH" NOTE.

E, for mostly the same reasons, in addition to the fact that you are supposedly a professional who's been doing this for years, there's also no need to put your fist up in the air on the last note like "yeah, I did it!"

Somebody help this child. Please.

Posted by nikl at November 24, 2005 11:43 AM

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