« Nacho Bebe | Main | Only indian actors from Northwestern »

April 15, 2007

I am your ambassador

Last night, we had a wedding gig at the American Legion hall in St. Libory, IL. It was a couple from Nashville, IL, but the closest location to host 700 people (yes. No typo) is apparently the American Legion Hall in St. Libory.

While we were at an American Legion hall, and there were 700 people in attendance, there was indeed an open bar. Props to hosts. So three-quarters of the way through the evening, when I made my way to the ladies room, the man I ran into was quite drunk. On my way in, he offered his hand, which I took, and after a long pause, he said "I'm really enjoying your voice." I said thank you, and continued on my way. When I came out, he was still standing there, and clearly had something to say.

Now, I could have smiled and kept walking, but instead I stopped, smiled and made it clear that I knew he had something to say and that I was willing to wait for him to figure it our in his clam, drunken state.

"You don't really see people like you around here."

I didn't even pause in my decision to go ahead and by laying it out there confirm that it was an ok conversation to have and if you ask me why I'm not sure I could explain it —

Me: Yeah, I kinda figured I'd be the only black person here.

My New Friend: You're a very pretty...

Me: Black person?

MNF: I mean, yeah. It's just, I'm not used to - I've net met someone like you.

[beat]

MNF: How old are you?

Me: 32

MNF: [drunken silence]

Me: I look younger, right?

MNF: [nod]

Me: I get that a lot. I look 12 apparently.

MNF: Bla - African-Americans(?) [I make a gesture/expression letting him know I'm fine w/ either] always look 20 years younger than they actually are. Anyway, you are very pretty and you have a very beautiful voice.

Me: Thank you [looking to the bandstand to see if our break is over - hoping the break is over. It's not]

MNF: I've thought about dating african-americans before, but I've always thought that, you know, around here, I'd be run out of town. But I'm standing here, enjoying your singing, and now talking to you - you are different. You'd be ok to date.

Me: I think that people assume a lot more differences than there actually are sometimes. My husband is white -

MNF: Oh, you're married.

Me: Yup.

MNF: And he's white? Really?

Me: yup. From a small town in west Texas even

MNF: Wow. That's - wow. This whole time I didn't realize you were married. I've been separated since January and divorced since april. I was married for 21 years.

Me: That's got to be hard

[Now, on my way to St. Libory, I was anticipating that I'd be the only black person in a crowd of 700 people, and for some reason the thought that came to mind was to wonder whether or not they would play "Gold Digger" and if so, which version and if it was the uncensored version, what would I do?

At this moment, I realize that "Gold Digger" is playing. However, the conversation I'm participating in has been and continues to hold my attention to the degree that I have no idea which version is playing.]

MNF: Yeah. I'm just not good at being single. I've been doing that internet dating thing -

Me: I met my husband on eHarmony.com!

MNF: I've been on a few dates, but nothin' yet. A few african-americans have popped up as matches, but none of them are like you.

Me: I'm sure you'll find someone.

MNF: I wish I could find someone like you. You're different than any African-american I've ever met.

Me: Well, I'm used to being the only black person where I am - I grew up in Rosewood Heights, by East Alton.

MNF: Hmm - I've been to Granite City?

Me: North of that.

MNF: Oh.

[beat. Me still looking to see if the break is over]

MNF: You're more light skinned than most african-american's I've seen.

Me: We come in all shades! My great grandfather was white.

MNF: Oh! That explains it.

[Band starts to play]

Me: Oh! I've got to get back on stage.

MNF: Ok. It was nice talking to you.

Me: Stay out there, you'll find someone. And maybe she'll even be black!

MNF: Thanks for the conversation!

End.

Now, let me clarify that while this man was drunk drunk drunk, he was in no way obnoxious loud touchy-feely drunk - just the everything that popped in his head came right out of his mouth drunk. I can't image that he would have said any of this sober. And while some might not be amused in the slightest by the above, I have to say that really, he just seemed sad, lonely, and curious. The alcohol and/or the growing up in an environment completely devoid of diversity brought him to me in a place where he found his questions and comments fair game. And to his credit, even given the previous, he did (to some extent) look to my clues to keep talking. I really just wanted to give him a hug. (But that would have been yet another clue, not one I wanted to give.)

I'm not sure what the moral is here. I'm used to playing the role of accessible black person people feel comfortable asking about all the Great Mysteries of Being Black. Some black people who know me find that hilarious for varying reasons, which is a whole other blog post.

I guess just

a. it was hilarious
b. only in the midwest. and
c. if that guy goes on a date and ends up happily and blissfully married to a black woman because of that conversation, that would be mad awesome

Posted by nikl at April 15, 2007 08:23 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.n-spiration.com/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/65

Comments

Post a comment